Saturday, July 28, 2012

this, that, the other thing.


here we are home.
home is good, but a little tired.

we spent some time visiting in maine, and the homes we saw inspired us to get going, again.

some days, it is all we can do to line the shoes up at the door, pull the covers up and straighten the pillows, put the breakfast dishes away before starting dinner, and then clean it all up again before falling into bed.

but we've got quite a sweet little house here.
the bones are good.  the windows are wide open most days, and the light is priceless.
we love the things we've chosen to fill these spaces...

we came home last night from maine.  we like it there.
we have a newly assessed five-year plan.

but, for now.  we're here, home.
and are looking at it with loving but wide open eyes.

and getting to work.


in the meantime,
here are some instant landscapes from maine.

we like it there,
a lot.

more soon.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

beach in the morning.

july 24.

we get up and go.
we pack a basket and wear our suits.
(i wear a suit, although of course, don't go in the water past my ankles.)
they fight over
the seats in the car,
and the windows open or closed,
and who gets the wetsuit first,
and the whistling/tapping/singing/etc...
and who carries what from the car to the beach.

and then we are there,
at the beach in the morning.

with tea, and bacon cooked at home and wrapped up in a kitchen towel.
with bagels picked up from scratch, which i can't even begin to describe here.

and i sit, or walk, and eat, and take photos.

and they surf.

i don't completely get it.  but i see.
i see the patience, and the freedom, and the joy when they ride,
the joy just in doing it.

it's something they do with tim.
and i completely get that.

home tomorrow.

Monday, July 23, 2012

we are here, not where we usually are.

oob pier
july 23.

and it's good.

more soon.

Friday, July 20, 2012

july 17.

going on vacation.


Sunday, July 15, 2012

hi from sunday night.

hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.
hi from sunday night.

today, i finished up a project i've been thinking about for weeks.  i think, in the end, i'm proud of what i've done.  i feel fragile about it, not sure that i even deserve the chance.  but.  i think i've done well.

it's a good feeling.

today, i crossed things off of week-long lists.  i napped.  i worked.  i cleaned.  i cleaned myself up and now,
at the end of the day,
i'm ready.

for pizza tim's making, and for anna to melt down and come back into the house after all day out in the park, out in the creek.
for the girls to come home.
for t & i to sit afterwards, with some of those girls on our laps,
out in the dark on the porch with the little white lights
and some candles.
all we need to see by.

to be tired, and satisfied with what we got done.  what we didn't.

ready for tomorrow. for the week.

i have my clothes ready.  i will get up and get out.

tonight i will be here. home. happy.


Monday, July 9, 2012

dinner was being cooked when i walked in the door.

at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.
at the river.
at the river, july 9.
at the river, july 9.

and then we put the lids on the pots and pans,
packed up some kids and some glasses and plates and forks and spoons,
and sat at the river for an hour or two.

maybe t's right.
maybe this is not not working.

more soonish.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

hi from sunday night.


so, i seem to be all over the place.

i'm at home, it's hard.
i'm at work, i like it fine.  i no longer float on the wings of doves to work every morning.
work sort of sucks.
it's work.
i'm not with my family, and now my family is on summer.
but not i.

i'm not really able to keep up with what i want to do, or what will pay off in the long run.
i just try to get a photo a day and...

but there are high points.  or maybe,
just middle points, low-ish points,
that make me realize it's not so bad, after all.


we got to see erin and fatty twice.

the dreaded full-on family reunion and grand party so much tipped the scales towards that i'm not now sure what the heck my problem was.
(as is so often the case.)

the girls come and go, and so do their moods.  but i'm a little bit more able to remember the good, even as the bad is kicking and screaming its way through our family.

oh, so often it's me who is kicking and screaming my way through our family.

i may try to remedy that.

we eat very well.

i still haven't had an all out crying jag.

it will come.

and when it does,

there will be nectarines, and iced green tea, and borrowed dresses, and a five minute commute around the lakes, and little white bottoms hidden under shorts where the rest of the limbs are tan, and girls who try to help with chores (for dollars!) but still don't do them well, and a husband who doesn't quite put things in their places as i would, but who greets me with a smile and a kiss and a shrug and then we proceed with the evening.
this will all start again in the morning.

we had this weekend.
and we will all, in our own separate heads,

more soon.
best wishes for a gentle week.