friday happiness::

apple picking this year was not a complete slam-dunk for all ages. and i'm ok with that.
it's finally cool enough to wear a sweater. hot damn.
my husband is making me a pizza. 'nuf said. (and that's not a euphemism for anything.)
the picture in my head of my daughter and the boy asleep on each other's shoulders in the back of the car on the way home from the orchard will warm my heart for years to come.

let your friends talk. i'm such a talker, but i really like to shut up and listen. because that's when i learn about the people i love.

i do now think that red wine tastes better out of good glasses. my go-to glass is an upcycled bon maman jar, but now that i've had a glass of ten dollar wine out of a proper glass, i concede.

holy sleeplessness, am i a worry-er!

but tonight,
i've got a pizza-making husband (maybe that is a euphemism after all...) and a sweater on, and a gentle rain and a weekend ahead.

hot damn.

xo,
tt

when you write out the word wednesday, do you still say it wed nes day to get it right?

xo,
tt

every day the best part is when we all go to bed.

the ups truck stopped one house up just now. oh, please, come one house down and deliver me some film!

he just passed me by. i suppose the new polaroid will have to wait to be tested.

one girl, so happy. so happy after so much uncertainty. the thought of her happy makes me weepy.

one girl going to sleep, finally with out fever.

one girl across the park. please come home. come home on time without me asking. that's all i ask.

the light switch clicks upstairs, and i hear "hey...t? we're ready."

that's my cue.

goodnight all.

xo.
tt

the waiting is the hardest part.

who knew such an unlikely thing as kale salad would become all i can think of when i'm hungry these days.

dressed with lemon juice, olive oil, salt & pepper.
i've thrown a few radishes in this time.
i think celery would be good, too.
i've been told toasted pine nuts belong in there, and i don't disagree, i just don't have any in the house.

i've also been told that a little massaging of the kale before dressing makes it less bitter.

who wouldn't be?

and it certainly does seem to mellow it out if you let it sit a spell after dressing it.

that's the hard part, though.

if i turn my head right this very second, i can see lunch waiting on the dining room table.

i think it's had just about enough alone time.

::

try it. i didn't believe it could be that good,
and now i can't believe how good it is.

xo,
tt

hi from sunday night.

it's still too hot.
i while still in bed sense that my day is going to be dictated
by my internal temperature
and the temp outside.

i will run hot.

i dream of cool days when i can wear a scarf and feel
as though i'm framing my face
in a way that is flattering.

am i as happy as i dream of being when it's finally cool?
i sure hope so.

although, i've been a trooper in the heat.
i've matured.

never, perhaps,
have i spoken more amusing words.

can i whisper a truth to you?
i think maturity is a bit over-rated.

i think we're all so damn mature, so serious.

a little bit of inappropriate laughter and uncontrollable nonsense
can do us all well.

::

i look into the eyes every day of too many grown ups who are hurting.
and the kids. well. they seem ok.
we seem to make sure they're securely fastened in,
their oxygen masks are on
before ours.

but.

we need to breathe.
we need to survive all the little crashes.
and the big ones.

we need to be there for them,
whole,
intact.

dare i say
happy?

i dare.

i dare you.
i dare myself.

fasten your seat belt.
and make sure theirs is too.

we can't stop the wreck.
but we can make sure they survive it,
knowing in our bones that
their happiness
was the goal all along.

xo.
tt

friday happiness:: (and some photos from a day in the city.)

enjoying doug paisley radio on pandora.
(when i leave the room for a little while, tim changes it to starland vocal band radio. not kidding.)

hearing the jingle of the prayer bell we put on our killer kitten's collar. she's pretty irritated with us, but we're saving lives here, people. i almost feel sorry for her.

little girl home with a fever means a bonus day of snuggling and reading charlotte's web in bed. that's got to be worth as much as a day in first grade.

bigger girl still happy this morning about her first field hockey game yesterday.

mums. but too early for pumpkins, i think.

the new shiny red clogs my mother bought me.

a pot of chili on the stove, for later. and the weekend ahead.

enjoy.

xo,
tt

easy is a four letter word.

just when you've gotten your shit together, (please excuse my french. but really? does "stuff together" do it? thought not.)

just when you've gotten your shit together, you have teenaged daughters. who, frankly, know perfectly well that they need you to wake them up in the morning, and at the least, toast them an english muffin and spread the jelly.
and at the most, make them french toast.
which, when they say yes to french toast, you get all giddy happy and feel like you're the mother of the year. 'cause yes! i made my fifteen year old french toast this morning...
and she ate it!!!!!!!!!

ahem.

anyway.

just when you think you've got your canoe all steady, or whatever.

hello, daughter of mine.

i love you.
and i'm easy.

hug me.
throw me a "nice breakfast and all, mom..."once in a while.

and i'm yours for life.

i'm yours for life.

xo,
tt.

distractable is too a word.

i've always loved fall best.
and i'm so listless lately,
so distractable and worried.
uninspired.

i just don't want to waste the fall on all of that.
i have to get that scent on my skin,
that feeling in my veins,
(whatever it is.)
that makes fall my favorite.

::

tim insisted we go for a walk this morning after we got the girls off to school.

i'm so glad he did.

i'm going to keep trying to get, to keep, to relish
everything i love
about
now.

xo,
tt

in need of a good cry, and in lieu of that...

i, stumbling onto a random sample of old photos, present:

callie, on the u.p.::

callie, linds, newborn anna::

we celebrated her birthday monthly for the first year::

me, lindsey, emily. coming home from playing in "china" (the empty field by the lakes.)

em; linds and callie had matching scarves and hats, which quickly were handed down:

tim taught them all to skate. the milk crate method works wonders.

at the bronx botanical garden::

tim, little:

me, little. on edna's shoulder:

tim, anna, in hudson::

me, in tivoli, ny. (our wedding anniversary is may eight. )


xo,
tt