Thursday, August 25, 2011

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more soon. soonish.

but perhaps not here.

i'll let you know.

thanks for reading.

xo,
tt

Sunday, August 21, 2011

hi from sunday.

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xo,
tt.




Friday, August 19, 2011

friday happiness::

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a girl back from camp, soon.

friends back from vacation,
family coming in to visit, soon.

the weekend, here. now.

enjoy.

more, soon.
xo,
tt

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

bwwickerchairsm
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well,
we-tim and i-are home alone with callie tonight.
callie of the newly minted fifteen-year-old variety.

it's a little like hanging out with your boyfriend and your roommate.

except that my boyfriend is out mowing our postage-stamp sized lawn with a push-mower and a pair of hand clippers,
and my roommate is making a smoothie with farmers' market peaches and asking me if back-to-school shopping is "going to happen this year."

we-tim and i-are bagging the whole dinner idea...
i brought the big girls who were here for dinner (the littles are off with nana & pop. one off to camp.) to the market with me.
the wednesday market has pretty wooden cafe tables and lots of prepared food; very upscale.

so we're bagging the veggie burrito idea and instead are making a meal of the best seeded baguettes, and all the leftover cheeses in the fridge, (please forgive the image of leftover cheeses; we're talking about fresh mozzarella, and some marinated goat cheese, etc...)
new pickles and sun-dried tomatoes, cucumbers from our neighbor's garden, last night's pasta.

and,
we-tim and i-are going to coerce callie into watching a movie with us.
not one of her movies. one of ours.

thinking about annie hall. wonder boys. i'm not there. something we've got on disc, can watch on the laptop, out on the newly mown lawn, on a quilt.

she may even end up with an arm around us and a head on our shoulders.

or maybe, we-tim and i-will end up out there looking up at the sky, the light on in her room,
with few dishes to do, and just one not-quite-child, not-quite-roommate, tucking herself in for the night.

right now, i'm not sure which i would prefer.

both.

xo,
tt




Sunday, August 14, 2011

hi from sunday night.

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the perfect cool rain breezes through windows and finally,
even tim will say yes to a cup of tea in the afternoon.

a hint of what is to come.

i don't want to rush things, but.

rain gives you the out to say no to hikes and yardwork.
yes to a quick walk around the park,
and cleaning out a cupboard.
visiting.
baking something.

the most peaceful few minutes of my week were spent alone,
in a neighbor's garden.
picking more tomatoes than i brought back home.
just moving around in the quiet and the scent of leaves and ground.

girls come home today,
and fight and tease and shout all the way down the road
from nana and pop's.
but once home, disappear and delve into projects of their own devising.
and walking the neighbors' dog.
and making our dinner, complete with the table set; fork on the left? right?

still cool breezes and candles lit now,
and really nothing to stay up for, but too soon to tuck in yet.

just about perfect.

and one of the last weeks of this long, quick summer begins.

best wishes.
xo,
tt

Friday, August 12, 2011

friday happiness::

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i am really a sucker for polaroid.
i love all sorts of cameras and film.
but polaroid literally makes my heart beat a little faster.
is that weird?

oh, well.

enjoy the weekend.
xo,
tt

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

a bunch of photos from new hampshire, that have nothing to do with what i'm thinking about.

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i'm embarrassed to say that i think the origin of the phrase that i've been most pondering lately may be an issue of oprah's magazine that my mother pilfered from the incinerator closet in her apartment building.

but, nonetheless,
inspiration and ideas are sparked from all sorts of random flint, and thus:

the gist is that certain deeply held ideas and beliefs are like icebergs:
so far beneath the surface and frozen in place, that it takes years for them to melt.
and even more so, that their melting is never even a consideration.
they just are.
this has haunted me since i read it, for surely, much of my life is dictated by icebergs.

things that are not even in play. not even questioned.
everything else is manipulated around the fact of these certain things.

i've had enough of that bullshit.

too many people, years, girls, worries.

enough.

one of the basic premises of our life just doesn't work for me anymore.
and so, one day,
i walked to the bottom of our driveway, waved hello, and smiled.

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the bottom line. (oh, so you're a bottom line sort of man. i like that. says henry fonda in on golden pond.)
the bottom line is,
we've girls to raise,
girls we love.
and so,
the iceberg melts.
if even just a little.

try it. it doesn't hurt nearly as much as all that cold did for all those years.

more soon.
xo,
tt

Monday, August 8, 2011

august 8, 1996.

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that was a good day.
really, that's what i remember thinking, afterwards. that night in the hospital.
it was a really good day.

you know, when you're having your first baby, it's all so unknown.
i just had no idea what was about to happen or how i was possibly going to get through it.
just no idea.

anyway. then there she was. and it just clicked. right. i can do this, after all.

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you should see her now. well, you do. there she is.

and look at her.

so much me in her, especially in that third picture. when i saw that up on my screen the first time, it stopped me in my tracks.
something about her eyes in that one is just about what i see when i look in the mirror.

but of course, she ain't me. she's ALL her.

and she's awesome, and i love her more than she can possibly understand right now.

but that's ok. she will, some day.

for now, i'll just hang on as much as i can, glad to be along for the ride.

callie,
fifteen.
love.

xo,
tt


Friday, August 5, 2011

friday happiness:: with lots of punctuation.

last night, we went out.

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if you know brooklyn well, you're probably scratching your head.
yes, that's the triboro bridge we came in on.
(does that view ever become not stunning?)
and yes, there we are in greenpoint.
(walked around, browsed a thrift store.)
and then yep. that's us at vinegar hill house.
the three of us.
(in the garden!)
(coke in a bottle, and a bottle of beer, and a bandol rose and a cheese plate.)
(and then they put the lights on!)
and then to red hook, to pick up tim's mom.
(sorry for the late notice, but so glad it worked. love you.)
caveats to me about frankies not being the cheap red-sauce joint i envisioned...
but, onward.
onward to frankies, and an "hour's wait."
one drink in a dreamy little outdoor alcove
and alas,
a table materialized.
(in the garden!)
more soda, more beer, more wine.
(caesar salad, homemade pasta.)
and the lights were on,
and a little magical.
anna sort of asleep on my lap, at last.

then back home, across the brooklyn bridge,
up the fdr.
bridges sparkling like lit-up pearls,
looking just as i remember them
sleepy in the back seat
when i was six.

the best night i can remember in a long time.

and that's saying something.

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and tonight,
girls.

girls home soon.

best wishes.

xo,
tt