Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
i needed to get out and not sit here anymore. for the first time in months, i knew just where to go.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
::sit on the front steps with my tea.
::walk instead of drive whenever possible.
::wear something each day a color other than brown or black or grey.
::eat as much food as i can that can be described with these words: green, fresh, crisp.
::follow closely the progress of things that are blooming.
::ride a bike.
::start going to the farmers' market again.
::listen to new to me music. this is a good one: i get in a rut and listen to the same thing over and over and over. (currently iron and wine.)
::relish the milestones that take place for my extended family this spring: birthdays, graduations, successes.
::play guitar to tim's drums, even if i do have to sit in our basement.
::reimagine spaces and routines and rituals. even a small change can be energizing.
::choose the kindest response.
::keep a houseplant healthy until it can go outside.
::let the kids cook for us.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
and girls laughing and happy,
so that sure balances things out.
i don't curse often or gracefully,
but things suck.
and then, i remember.
oh yeah.things are awesome.
i have that man over there. and
those cats on my couch, and
those girls sprawled out each one on top of the other
like it's what heals them.
and really,that is all that matters to us.
the rest will just have to fall where it may.
thanks for listening.
ps:: and always, this.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
walking down sullivan street,
on a monday morning
when i woke to snow and ventured out
on my last day alone
in the city,
to buy myself an almond croissant.
woke this morning once more to snow,
and to girls who are done with dressing for snow for the year.
is that a battle you would have chosen to wage?
do you think i did?
can i blame them for wanting spring?
we are all of us so afflicted with longing.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
you know that "do one thing every day that scares you" quote from eleanor roosevelt?
i think i know about that.
when you see your friend outside to whom you owe a phone call, you take a deep breath and go out and get into it.
you make plans with someone you miss.
you step in the middle and pick up your stepdaughter and hug her and let her cry.
you look someone right in the eyes.
you clean out the basement and look through boxes you've known are down there but haven't really wanted to reckon with. for nine years.
you tell yourself no.
you tell yourself yes.
and a whole lot of other stuff.
but i still don't fly.
now that scares me.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
feeling tonight that the best thing i could ever do in my life to make things better is to just lay it all on the line and tell my friends the truth about what i'm feeling, what i'm going through; to be ready to listen to whatever it is that they have to say; to abandon expectations and be thrilled by every new day with my kids. to stay focused and loving on my husband. to pet my cats and stand for way too long under hot water in the shower. to eat whatever the hell i want when i'm hungry and eat as little as i need when i'm not. to say no and say yes in equal measures when necessary. to touch people even when it seems awkward. i'm betting they won't mind as much as you may think. to try every day to stretch a little and choose something slightly off. if i alter my routine by even two minutes i will see different people and things and events than i would have seen the previous two minutes.
in the next two minutes i'm going to shut the computer down, go upstairs with my tea, kiss the girls, and snuggle down for the night with tim.
Monday, March 14, 2011
good news, bad news, good loving, good food, bad mail.
kids outside, chocolate cake left over, and dinner, too.
photos and pen-and-ink and homemade bows-and-arrows and bouncing on a trampoline.
taking care of business and taking care of each other.
cats standing on our desks to see what's happening out the window.
girls coming and going and now wet-haired and cozy and there is nothing better.
all in a day.