that's right, i'm in bed.
waiting for tim to return from a fourth trip to white plains for a single party for a teen-aged girl.
i'm waiting out the three big girls; to finish in the bathroom, to finish talking and walking back and forth between each other's rooms. what the heck are they doing? i know it may make sense if i were out there, watching them. but from in here, it seems as if they're doing laps. or switching the entire contents of each other's rooms one item at a time.

tonight, a fire out back. the perfect, perfect temperature for such a thing.
and a few friends were kind enough to come by, and the kids ended up out there in the beginning, and then again, in the end. us in and up, washing up and tucking little one in.
and i could hear them talking down there through the bathroom window, and see the fire being stoked and then dying again.

and then they came up.

and that's where i am now. up here in bed, waiting. listening and typing. and should be sleeping, but i think writing is better than another episode of the office. even if the writing is of the lazy, tired, self-indulgent kind.

and waiting. i strung a few lights tonight. and i keep putting my nose in the air, figuratively, trying to conjure up the elusive scent of whatever it is that puts me in the mood for these days before the holidays.

and i'm both surprised by how long it's been since i've found it, and how sure i am that i will once more.

the triumph of hope over experience.

(don't they say that about something else???)

more soon. as much for me as anyone.

xo,
tt