nothing all that dramatic, actually.
i went away, by myself
for a day or two or three.
i walked and walked and walked
around the lower part of new york city.
i took lots of pictures,
drank lots of tea.
a little bit of wine, too.
i slept in a bed that is not mine,
and drank from a tea mug that is not mine,
and looked out a window different from mine
to see what the weather is,
to see what is happening outside.
i was not as bold as i wished to be.
i can not even remember what it is i took all of those pictures of,
but they will tell me a story of my time there
that is different, perhaps,
than i remember now.
i remember being a little scared.
i know that's lame.
but that's the truth.
i remember being a little bored.
lamer still,
but again,
the truth.
i missed tim. i missed just the him of him.
i rely on him so very much for so many things.
he is supremely competent.
he makes me feel so.very.safe.
i didn't really miss the girls all that much, really,
but not in any mean way.
it's just that i spend some time away from them
each day as it is, now.
it did feel strange that people who saw me had no idea
that my whole world is wrapped up in all of those girls.
but at night i did certainly miss the closeness, the comfort
of being a part of the sum of their day;
and also,
in bed,
of another's breath and weight to press me down into my sleep.
well,
i guess i just spent a day or two or three
away from my family.
not so dramatic.
but i'm home now.
and i'm glad,
and just a little bit dreamy
about the next time
i can walk for hours
on my own.
xo,
tt
