Wednesday, June 30, 2010

things are good over here.
after a long weekend all by myself
i have a house full once again.
seven kids sleeping in a pile upstairs,
one little girl
down here with me,
singing and playing,
and picking blueberries
out of the coffee cake.

i almost can't believe
that it's summer.
that no one has to get up
and no lunches need to be packed.
that no homework needs to be done,
and no schedule needs to be kept.
that friends and family
can come and go.
that the doors and windows
can be swung wide open.
that what we eat
can be seen
growing in the garden,
and that a party can be made
simply by adding
a few plates to the table.

i do believe summer
has won me over,
once and for all.

xo, tt.

Monday, June 28, 2010

summer::day four.

xo, tt.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

summer::day three.

xo, tt.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

summer::day two.

xo, tt.

xo. tt.

Friday, June 25, 2010

summer::day one.
summer::day one
summer::day one
summer::day one
xo. tt.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

xo. tt.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

yesterday when i got back home, there was a deer standing in the driveway, calmly nibbling on the lily-of-the-valley and the hosta that separate our house from our neighbors'. and in the neighbors' garage was our little orange cat, abigail.
abby came out, the two of them looked at each other-and perhaps recognizing that they were almost the same color?-came closer and closer together until their noses could nuzzle. then abby stretched out under a tree, and the deer stretched out her neck and began to lick the end of abby's tail. i called to abby, and she slowly-reluctantly?-walked towards me and up our front steps. the deer watched, and then walked up the slate pathway that leads to our neighbors' back yard.
i know that it's accepted around these suburban parts to be irritated by the deer. to wage costly and elaborate battle against them in the fight to preserve expensive landscaping. but i have to tell you, it's hard for me to be annoyed by something that is merely trying to eke out a meal in the midst of encroaching pavement.
plus, they're really pretty cute.
ok, that's all i've to say about that. thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

i understand, all in an instant, that we have never been this family before, and that we will need to rearrange how we feel about each other, and everything else, in order for this to work.

and in that instant, i am strangely but definitely relieved. we have never been this family before, but we are, definitely, a family.

more tomorrow. thanks for reading.

ps::those kitchen linens were sent to me by molly. goodness, but she is good people.

Monday, June 21, 2010

this is it.
this is the last week of school for the girls.
and this is going to be a summer so different for us than any other summer. in many ways. some i can share here and some i can not, but suffice it to say that things are shifting. and that i will have much company here in what has been my own little house for hours at a time, for days in a row up until now. until this summer.

i wake with the birds now. we both do, tim and i. and it gets light out so very early. four thirty, quarter to five. it seems like it's been getting light out earlier and earlier, but not staying light as late in the evenings as we remember.

we wake with the birds and the sun, but i get out of bed to save the cats from waking everyone. tim falls back to sleep and i make tea, and see what's going on over here.

i'm going to see what's going on over here. that's what tim says when he starts working at the computer. i guess i've picked up some phrases from hanging around him this long. my father likes to point that out, actually. if i say "exactly" to mean yes, for instance, my father will point out to me that it's one of tim's expressions. i think it amuses him. in any event, he means it kindly. i think.

i get up early now, and i think it's going to be my routine-and my salvation-this summer. a little time alone with my tea and the cats and the birds. and whatever is going on over here.

that's all i wanted to say. thanks for reading.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

this is a seriously good man.


happy father's day to all of your fellas. and most of all, to my own wonderful father, to my brothers, who grew up to be some of the most amazing men i know, and to my few best dad-friends. you forever leave me feeling i'm lucky to know you all, and to have my kids growing up around you and yours.
and to that dad kissing me in the picture up there? i could not ask for anything more than what you give so naturally, every single day. all i can say is thank you. and love.

happy day, guys. thanks for reading.

Friday, June 18, 2010

some pictures of a few of the people i love::

some pictures of a few of the people i love.
some pictures of a few of the people i love.
some pictures of a few of the people i love.
when i got this roll of film back, i was confused. i knew for sure a couple of shots were from sunday night, but then was this one last friday? wait, no. i think this was tuesday.

that's right, tuesday. a tuesday night, at twilight, kids running barefoot, parents sitting out back as the light dimmed, still talking. i do believe the bigger kids were studying at this point, but really? can't be sure. and i think we all decided to eat together about half an hour before it happened. it is the best sort of plan that happens almost as it is hatched.

we are so ready. and we're almost there. almost.

but it's friday, and so for a day or two, we are there.

even in the midst of worry and trouble, something that can only be described as joy bubbles up and makes me fall in love with things and people and places over and over again. and i think that may be how i would describe living.

happy weekend, friends. thanks for reading.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

hi, hi!
today is the first day of anna's summer. she is now, as she will inform you readily, a "kindergardener."
we have big plans, as outlined by little miss::
a) haircut for her at the barbershop. lollipops will be involved.
b) "lunch" at our favorite spot. lunch, in her case, means a cookie the size of her face, because (and i quote) she already had something healthy today.
c) getting my toes done, because her sister already did hers (alternating blue and purple polish), and mine just aren't up to snuff now.
d) groceries. i'm pretty sure her list is different than mine.

we're almost through the woods with the big girls' school work, too. a few tests, a few celebrations, and then everyone is off for the summer!

what's that? how's it going to be having everyone home from school all summer?

i'm sorry, i don't have an answer for that right now. that's next weeks' question.

enjoy your day! thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

around here, these days::

five full days,
three half days,
one independent study project,
two regents exams (times three girls),
one french exam (ditto),
two moving-up ceremonies,
one pre-k picnic
to go.

not that anyone around here is counting. thanks for reading.

Friday, June 11, 2010

some friday goodness::
anna's checkup, in which i confirmed that she is, in fact, growing like a weed. three inches this year.

lunch at the gallery with tim.

stroke of genius parenting trick: enlist a sister to "babysit" anna for the afternoon, thus ensuring that they are both out playing in the park on this sunny day.

making pizza tonight, and i was careful to have extra broccoli rabe on hand. i guess i'll be willing to share with the kids this time.

i think it will be a good night for a fire out back. wishing i had bought some marshmallows. but there will be fireflies to catch! that's almost as fun, yes?

i got the first season of glee for the girls to watch. if it's not appropriate for them, please don't tell me. these kids are tv-deprived, and think i finally did something cool. let's leave it at that.

and tomorrow morning, sleep in. sleep, sleep, sleep all you want, girls. we're in the homestretch now.

happy weekend! thanks for reading.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

i had written and tried to post something earlier, but blogger wasn't in working order.
i'm so glad.
because now,
it's the end of the day.
our dinner is done.
where a few hours ago i was ready to walk out into the park with tim and anna,
with our dinner all but on the table,
waiting for the girls to trickle back home...
i sit here instead
on the other side of that scene.
and we had a few extra places filled tonight,
after all,
and the girls are showering and chattering,
in some cases fighting,
and in some cases laughing,
and anna and tim are reading,
and the air around the house
is dimming into night,
and the dishes are done,
and i am alone,
just as i began this day,
then not knowing how it would
wind and flow through each hour.
and now i do know,
and while
nothing is surprising,
in each of these days of ours,
each day is,
in fact,
quite new.
i need to keep remembering that.
we've never done this before.
any of it,

enjoy the evening! thanks for reading.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

thanks so much for all of your sweet comments yesterday. brought a tear (or two) to my eyes.
and the trout was excellent.
and today was the nicest cool rainy day, which made home seem so cozy.
and the kids are making movies with the flip camera left and right.
and it's book club, tonight::mrs. dalloway!

and i quote:
And behind it all was that network of visiting, leaving cards, being kind to people; running about with bunches of flowers, little presents...all that interminable traffic that women of her sort keep up; but she did it genuinely, from a natural instinct.

possibly she said to herself, As we are a doomed race, chained to a sinking the whole thing is a bad joke, let us at any rate, do our part; mitigate the sufferings of our fellow-prisoners...decorate the dungeon with flowers and air-cushions; be as decent as we possibly can.
...her notion being that the Gods, who never lost a chance of hurting, thwarting and spoiling human lives were seriously put out if, all the same, you behaved like a lady.

somewhere in the midst of reading about clarissa, i became conscious of perhaps, a slight recognition of my self. and having not finished it yet (this time 'round), am hopeful that my friends will tell me if in the end, this is a good thing, or a bad thing.

i'll let you know the verdict, tomorrow. thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

well, hello.
today is just about the perfect day, weather wise. it is sunny, and just the right temperature. the kids can play outside and the grill is a given for dinner.

i bought some trout fillets, and i'm going to have tim just grill them simply with some salt, pepper, and lemon. then make a quick little saute of chopped tomatoes and capers and thyme to top it with. and some broccolini. maybe some rice...or couscous! did i mention that i served couscous with shrimp last week and the kids fell all over it? i didn't even know they knew what it was! apparently, they have been getting their fill of couscous somewhere outside of the home. and liking it. hmmpf.

but it's not all good. we have three weeks left of school, and frankly, i'm exhausted by the emotional stress of trying to keep all of the moving parts around here in good working order. i need to be done-need for the kids to be done-with this school year. it's been a doozy. and the stretch and flow of summer is exactly what we all need. now.

i know this is an inherently cryptic forum, at least for me. there's only so much i'm comfortable sharing here of "real life." but i think even without the details, you all are so supportive and warm and caring-and you all have the same "real life" stuff of your own-that just saying "things are hard," and hearing "hang in there, you're not alone" from all of you, has always helped me.

"things are hard."

and to you all, whatever it is that sits heavy on your heart, i say "hang in there. you're not alone."
best wishes. thanks for reading.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

breakfast scenes::1
breakfast scenes::3
breakfast scenes::2
breakfast scenes::4
hi from saturday.

nothing new here, i just wanted to stop in and show you some breakfast scenes on film, from this past week.

i'm increasingly becoming a morning person. i find to wake up even half an hour before everyone else (except the cats), makes for a calm, quiet start to the day. i'll rarely eat for an hour or so, once i've gotten the girls fed and off to school; often i'll even wait until tim's had his bowl of granola and is on his way to the gallery. then i'll make something for me. usually involving eggs, or cheesey toast, and some sort of leftover greens from the night before.

it's a very nice time of the day for me.


today involves a blanket in the park, with tea and the paper; prepping the farmer's market produce and making a huge salad for lunch, trying to sort through all of my photos on the dining room table, new shoes for the girls from their nana and pop, hammock swinging, and sprinkler jumping.

tonight involves an impromptu invite for dinner, and a new (to us) movie to watch. i think it's all going to be good.

hope your saturday is cool and calm. thanks for reading.