ok, the truth is, i'm not going to be able to draw any profound conclusions about this past year. frankly, i know what my weaknesses and my strengths are every day of every month, and it being the last week of december doesn't really change anything.

i will say that what amy wrote about resolutions usually focusing on our failings hit home for me. i suppose i could make a list of things that i need to work on, or change, or do and not do in the new year, but most of those are small, personal adjustments that are too intimate to share, and too specific to be meaningful to anyone but me.

besides, the overwhelming vote seems to be that i need to relax. this has been voiced by the people who know and love me best in varying ways, from "just take it one step at a time" to "maybe you shouldn't be too picky?" right down to "is she going through menopause? she seems a little grumpy" (this last, from my dad!); the chorus of friends and family who seem to think i need to relax, already is getting loud and, um, organized.


so alright. i'll relax.
i'll try.

::

one of the sweetest things about this christmas was that the girls were able to do most of their shopping themselves, thanks to their babysitting money, and the fact that they can walk into town from our house together. they were all genuinely more excited about giving presents to us and each other than what they were getting. this is a big change from some years ago, when they all actually counted how many presents were in each of their piles. drama ensued.

this year, they even filled tim and my stockings, which i know really meant something to them, since in the past they would be sad when my stocking wasn't full like theirs was on christmas morning. the implication of them doing so is, of course, something i'm not going to examine too closely.

one of the things we each found in our stockings this year was a long stemmed rose: a white one for me, a peachy-pink one for tim, and a pink one for anna. they're over there in a vase right now, and it makes me happy to look at them.

::

that's all for today. a cold wind is swirling around and we keep losing power, but i'm venturing out for provisions. thanks for reading.
tt