Wednesday, December 11, 2013

well, hello.

i'm mostly over here these days.
i will return though.

i always do, don't i?


Tuesday, November 26, 2013


yashica mat 124g.  kodak portra 400.

this last roll wasn't such a winner, but these few are nice.  i've got another roll in the camera, and five days home from work, thanksgiving dinner to cook, friends and family to see, girls all here, leaves off the trees and a storm coming in.

i'll keep at it.  it will come back.  hope, longing, and light are flickering at the edges and i'm starting to see the shape of what's next.

more soon.

Monday, November 11, 2013

been so long i'm not even sure where to start.

it's a whole new season.
and i know i've been so far gone for so long from here.
but here are the girls, lately.  halloween happened.  so did college visits and a funeral and a little girl crossing the street on her own and running ahead to third grade calling "love you" to her dad before he could even kiss her goodbye.
there have been a whole series of sunday dinners and business trips that left the house even more motherless than usual of late.
i haven't cut bittersweet yet, but it was on the list for this past weekend.  i hope it won't be all burst open and orange by the time i get to it on saturday.
i've been taking pictures of my morning commute around the lakes when tim or callie drive me to work.  (there's no real point in my taking a car and it sitting in the parking lot for ten hours or so.)
i've been inspired to shop and cook all of my favorite meals this week, but it sure is a lot of work after work.  (chili! chicken pot pie.  onion soup!  meat sauce...and on and on...)
sleep is in direct competition with inspiration and relaxation right now, which is absurd and ironic.
i sent in a roll of film today which i shot in a weekend about a month ago.
(better late than never.)
there will be more, now that i've gotten back here and started talking.
hope you are all well.


Sunday, September 29, 2013

hi from sunday night.

yashica mat  124g.  kodak portra 400.

home just feels like the place that's familiar even though it may be brand new to you.
best wishes for the week ahead.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

hi from sunday night.

film from long beach.  yashica mat 124g.  kodak portra 400.


so, with these, i say an eager goodbye to summer.
the girls start school tomorrow morning, and with that, i begin again, too.
i begin to get into the routine of lunches and bedtime and who needs to be where when.
but the truth is that now, it's as much about where i need to be, when i need to be there.

i need to be at work.  and these girls of ours are going to need to step it up a bit,
take care of some things that they were used to me taking care of,
even little miss.
no more morning reconnaissance missions for shoes in the park.  no more pancakes and syrup on a plate in the car, charlie drooling on her backpack on the ride to school.  no more nonsense over wearing what she slept in because it's a gym day, anyway.

we all need to step it up a bit.

for the first time ever, the five big girls are in the same school.  even way back when, kt, jo, and callie were in kindergarden before linds got into the two's, and em was in the three's.  and i think we can all agree that eighth grade is pretty much the ninth circle of hell on earth, so things can only improve for linds from here on in, yes?

and we have three seniors.  just take a breath and process that, people.

...two, three.

you're with me now?


tim went surfing this afternoon and is bringing home dinner (unrelated to the surfing. it's not like he caught something out there, he's stopping on the way home.) and first-day outfits have been laid out, and lunches are packed (or paid for...high schoolers apparently don't bring lunch), and supplies are ready and waiting.
all good.  all in order.

now it's all over except for the waking up part.

wish us luck with that.

i wish you luck with whatever new beginnings you have ahead of you.
thanks so much for being here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

hi from sunday night.

i am thrilled by the guests em, molly, and i have joining us at habit this month.  come over and see, if you like.  this is going to be good.  i liked our quiet month with just us three, but it's always even better when other voices chime in.  and i am completely grateful to each of our guests who have lent their words, photos, and time to habit.

i'm making sunday dinner on monday, and because it's rainy and humid out, i've set the table in the dining room for the first time in a while.  it feels fall-ish that way, which as you may have gotten an inkling about in the past, makes me stupid happy.  frittata, grilled sausages,tzatziki, arugula, good bread, fruit, ice cream.  yep.

i said yes to a three-girl sleepover last night and did not live to regret it.

i could listen to a handful of songs over and over and over again.  (and i do.)

currently sharing my seat with a cat.

watching my girl get ready to go to work.  real work.  grown up work.  she wows me.

my love affair with instagram is still going strong.  (see photo above, from this morning.)*

there's a deep-pink rose of sharon volunteering down at the creek.

the sun seems to be breaking through and perhaps things will dry up in time to eat outside, after all.

that's all i've got for now.

big week ahead.  best wishes, all.
thanks for being here.

* i know i'm so lame, but if one of you kind people could remind me of how to post instagram photos here without the instagram branding, tell!  argh...i annoy myself.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

hi from sunday night.

it's funny how all of a sudden you realize that things have turned toward better, without being able to put your finger on the exact moment that happened.  and maybe i'm not even sure why i can say that, for of course there is so much that is not better, some things so decidedly worsened actually, and yet...some degree of the weight has been lifted.
just in time.

for surely, we are in for it now.

best wishes to you all.  (all of us.)

Saturday, August 17, 2013

on the edge of things.

more slide film from lido with the yashica.  all done for now.  need to reload.

talk soon.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Friday, August 9, 2013


slide film from that day at lido.
yashica mat 124g.

don't want to bombard you all at once, so i'll give it to you in bits and pieces.
for now i'm just glad that it's friday, and i can rest.
you too, i hope.


Monday, August 5, 2013

apparently there's some controversy over whether or not back/yard is one word or two.

but in any event,
this is what ours looked like tonight.

not pictured:
the girls being nice to one another.
the first time i ever made pasta with broccoli rabe and sausage, which was the first meal i'd ever cooked for t., back in that crappy apartment on chestnut street.
the loaner car in the driveway because the truck got smashed on friday.
how i literally wiped tears out of my eyes today from laughing at work.  i would not make it there without that guy.
the hug anna gave me in the back of said loaner when they picked me up from work today.
the e-mail from promising another roll of slide film developed pronto.
the complete disaster that is the second floor of our house.
and the basement.
how nice the first floor looks, generally.
t. and lindsey taking charlie out; anna on my lap, close to sleep; callie's face reminding me of me, and not at all, at the same time.

goodnight.  thanks for being here.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

so of course we're here talking about how she's away for the first night, ever.

this was sunday:

woke up earlier than preferable but it was fine.

in the end we were all together and some good; some bad.
but here we are.

pickles were made.  and food to last the next few days;
just charting the next five days seems like someone way more qualified than i should be managing things.


Saturday, August 3, 2013

there are some ties that you can't just pretend aren't binding.

so we drove to jersey today,
and we saw tim's cousin and his wife and three (now three!) kids and her friends and family and anna fit right in and tim and g. went straight into the family stuff and i talked to one of the best people i've met in a while for most of the afternoon.
and then we went home.

and callie and kt were back. (back!)
these girls drove their bad selves up and back to mid-coast maine,
sending electronic breadcrumbs showing us that they'd been canoeing, they'd been to chase's daily, they'd been to flatbread, that they were happy.

and so, here we are.
and reluctantly ending saturday.
if i could stretch it out, i would.


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

so sue me.

top:  digital at the aldrich
bottom: with the yashica at beth's house